Back in middle school, we were asked to go in front individually to share our talent. I could not remember what I did, but I do remember this one particular girl. She went in front and started singing, but we hardly heard her voice. I could not understand a single word, or should I say I could not hear anything at all. We just thought that maybe she had nothing in mind to do, so she just sang.
Every little difference of opinion leads quickly to tension. Most attempts to discuss disagreements end in heightened conflict or avoiding each other. — LESLIE BECKER-PHELPS, PHD
Once in a while, our marriage tends to have different kinds of issues that may vitally affect our relationship not just with the people around us but also within ourselves. Most of the time, it creates a stressful situation that limits our productivity due to the mental health conditions that we can get out of frustrations from our relationships. That is why couples need to address the issue and learn various techniques for assessing marital concerns.
Though therapy works wonders and often helps us in dealing with= our marital problems, not all advice applies to all. Some differ depending on the type of issue that they need to resolve. However, there’s still a list of things that married couples should understand. Before they address the issues in their marriage, they need to assess themselves first.
The truth about a relationship is that you can’t stay committed unless you find happiness in it. Knowing your reason for sticking in a relationship is a factor that can affect your sense of purpose to determine the kind of relationship you want. If your goal is just to settle with someone, but you don’t like to think about the consequences you may face, then marriage is not your option.
You are incapable of loving someone when you don’t know how to love yourself. The idea of giving importance to your marriage is determining the kind of love you have for yourself. It is by defining how you value yourself as a person, how you respect your thoughts and ideas, and how you satisfy your desire to be in a relationship.
Contempt refers to one partner’s attempts to appear superior to the other. It can include name-calling (“you are such an idiot!”), using humor in a hostile manner, sarcasm, mocking, and eye-rolling. — Meredith Shirey, MS, LMFT
Be Open To Adjustment
Change is constant, and as your relationship with your partner evolves, you have to consider adjustments. Not that you have to become a person that you’re not supposed to be, but it’s a sense of becoming someone who develops skills and potentials that are useful in handling marital issues. Always remember that both of you don’t have to be perfect.
Be Honest With Yourself
Sometimes, your love for commitment blocks you from seeing damaging factors that affect your marriage. If you tend to ignore the warning signs, you may eventually end up losing everything. You have to be honest about yourself and accept that things are not okay. From there, learn and develop better ways that can help you choose what’s right for you and your partner.
Money issues are very common among the couples and if you ever lie about overspendings then it will become difficult to gain that trust again further leading to marriage breakdown. So, being honest in a relationship is a must to keep the love alive forever. — Robert Puff Ph.D.
Know What You Want
Nobody has the right to force you to get married or stay in a marriage for a long time. You need to understand that every decision matters. Therefore, you have to know what you want in order to know what you need. You have to realize that your relationship requires your full commitment if you want it to succeed.
You as a person should understand your responsibilities when in a marriage. Everything negative and positive that happens in your situation is the products of both your decisions. Both of you should have time to assess yourselves and understand the need for self-evaluation.
To be able to understand how we can be happy, we need to consider looking at ourselves and realize how we think. Most of the time, our happiness comes from a variety of things that determine our wants and needs. However, happiness is not always limited to specific amounts because the emotional correlation of attaining something might differ in some ways.
I’m always struck by people who seem genuinely content, who focus on what’s good in their lives. — Seth J. Gillihan Ph.D.
Happiness always comes from something we want to obtain. It has something to do with the fulfillment of physically having an essential object that we long to have. It can be new clothes, gadgets, food we eat, and the list goes on. In most cases, we determine happiness because of the baseline of our measurable goal. However, the feeling is temporary, and we end up looking for more. It somehow puts us back to our original level of happiness once we realize the value of that piece of thing. So it’s better to say that the pleasure we get from the objects we want is the reaction from the excitement of literally wanting it.
As far as emotional correlation is the concern, we tend to look for things that make us feel satisfied. It’s where we put the value of something we want from our surroundings without any social interaction. Some examples would be watching our favorite movies, eating at our favorite restaurants, cleaning the house, getting enough sleep, doing exercise, learning arts, etc. We base our happiness on the things that we do for ourselves that requires less attention and do not affect the other aspects of our lives. It mainly comes from the fulfillment we feel when completing a particular task.
Research has shown that the difference between people who are flourishing and those who aren’t lies in the magnitude of positive emotions they are able to self-generate from everyday pleasant activities (e.g., social interactions, learning, helping others). — Marianna Pogosyan Ph.D.
Another form of happiness is from the result of what we can get out of our zone. It has something to do with our daily involvement in our environment that our decisions can affect. It is the type of happiness that measures our sense of responsibility to what we can offer our lives that somehow create an impact on our situation. Some examples are finishing work early, attaining good grades, getting a promotion, ending an appointment meeting, and so on. It’s all about the happiness that you get from pushing your limits.
The most common type of happiness we know is the form of emotional attachment from social interaction. Though this is a broad scope, it does not limit us from attaining happiness in different ways. At some point, we tend to be happy just by knowing that others are feeling the same way. The idea that people show their appreciation towards us and allowing us to know that our existence matters to them, it will all come down to a conclusion that our happiness is what other people can give us with or without the assumption of getting it back in return.
What you speak tends to stem from what you think. The words that come out of your mouth are either portraying your current state of mind, or they may end up influencing the way you think. — Jacqueline Pearce, MSEd, LMHC
Answering a question of “what makes you happy” depends on what’s important in front of you. So if sometimes you think or feel like you can’t find enough reasons to stay focused on your happiness, you can check out its different types and make room for therapy and meditation. It will positively help you understand yourself way better.
In our generation, we often think of a lot of things that we want to accomplish each day. Every time we tend to create plans and make a to-do list, we forget to focus on the excessive amount of effort that we need to exert and sometimes ended up attaining nothing at all. Since there’s a lot of stuff in our head that we need to get rid of, we aim for productivity. However, focusing on doing a lot of tasks in a given short period can be exasperating. In other words, if you want to achieve the kind of productivity you need, you have to concentrate on the best traits that can help you reach the goal.
If you view success as getting all the work done in an environment that has never ending work, you are bound to get stressed and feel terrible about yourself. — Snehal Kumar, PhD
In this world where there is a lot of competition, having confidence in yourself will take you to places. We all possess a talent or skill, but not everyone develops the courage to use it successfully. Some just let the fire burn out inside them because they are too shy or scared to try. They are afraid to turn out to be a laughing stock or disappointment to other people.
Watching movies is entertaining. It makes us feel better when we’re down, but it can also make us sad just like that. It plays with our emotions as we empathize with the characters, and that’s the magic of it all! Always choose a movie that will make you happy. With everything that’s happening around us, there’s no use in aggravating the negativity we are already feeling. Movies can do wonders, and we seldom ignore what they can do in our mentality. We thought that they are just there to entertain us, but notice how movies influence our thinking and our lives in general.
The verdict on the concept of true happiness is down, and it isn’t about being on cloud nine or oozing with positivity all the time.
I’ve watched Inside Out with my kids (aged nine, seven and three) far more times than my fingers could count. But the realization it teaches me every time I see this film never gets old (and the way it makes me cry never fails!).
With all the busy things that you are doing in your current life, there is a high chance that you have been missing out in spending time with your parents. Do not worry because you are not the only one who is guilty of doing this. Unfortunately, most adults have so many things to take care of to the point that they no longer have time to visit their aging parents. For example, you can be too engrossed at work, or your boss does not grant you any vacation leave. Another scenario is that you are living in a faraway town or country, which makes visiting them a tedious and expensive act to do. At the same time, you may be too busy with your own family.
However, do not fret because there are still ways on how to correct this mistake. In this article, we are going to share some of the strategies or techniques to keep in mind so that you can make your parents happy. The purpose of this article is to encourage every adult to remember that you are someone’s one child. As such, you owe it to your parents to face happiness in their faces.
A Simple Call Means A Lot
Are you aware that your parents are not asking too much from you? The mere gesture of letting them know that you thought of them is more than enough. All you have to do is to give your mom or dad a call, especially on special occasions such as birthdays or anniversaries. They understand that you have a hectic schedule in your adult life, which is why they will not demand a lot from you. Give them a call whenever you can and make sure that you ask how they are doing. A random conversation can already brighten up their day.
A garden needs water, and fertile soil, (sunshine) and those sorts of things in order or the plants to grow. In the same way, for relationships to grow in a healthy way we’ve got to nurture the relationship. — Mike Brooks Ph.D.
Surprise Them With A Gift
Another smart or ideal thing that you can do is to send something special to your parent’s residence. Since visiting them is quite impossible at the moment, then do not be afraid to go out of your way. Think of a gift item that your parents love. Choose an online shop where you can order the said item and have it delivered straight to your doorway. Your parents will surely appreciate this gesture, especially at times when they miss you the most. The gift to forward to them does not need to be expensive.
Make Them Proud
Since you have been missing out on spending time with them, make sure that you let them see that the time you spent apart is truly worth it. What you can do at this point is to promise to yourself that you will continue to get better. Make sure that you will prove to them that you have become successful in your ways. Your success is always a proud moment for your parents. They would not mind your absence at home as long as they know that you are living the best time of your life. Find a way to keep on giving them a sense of accomplishment because they raised you as their child.
It’s a universal truth that every parent wants a happy child, and every child wants a happy parent. Cultivating happiness in your family is more than just good parenting; it provides you and your kid with memories you will cherish for a lifetime. — Sean Grover L.C.S.W.