Growing up in a dysfunctional family is not something that we all understand. Most of the time, we get to experience judgments and criticism for having unsupportive and uncaring individuals. It makes us feel that life is unfair. But dealing with this kind of family is never a linear process. So even if we happen to move away from them or went on to adulthood, it doesn’t mean we can get away from their memories. Honestly, it lingers every time we see other families out in public or watch a film that entirely hits home.
In most dysfunctional families, some wounds are fresh and deep that no matter what we do, there is no escaping the emotional and mental sorrow we have. It has something to do with a lot of things to patch even though everything still hurts. And one thing is for sure; it is not easy to get going and live each day of our lives knowing that we have unsolved issues with the individuals that are supposed to be there for us. So we can all agree that not all of us are privileged to have a family that understands and supports each other. Fortunately, there are ways to recover from this dysfunctional emotional attachment.
Get Rid Of Things That Remind Painful Memory
One way we can recover from a traumatic experience from a dysfunctional family is by getting rid of possessions that bring up bad times. These may include gifts, photos, and sentimental items. Yes, it can be challenging at times because there is this attachment that we value more than anything. But for us to emotionally and mentally heal, we also need to remind ourselves that throwing away these items is much far better. Instead of clinging into something we know can bring back sad memories, we have a choice to create a new one.
Replace Negative Thoughts With Self-Awareness
Our brains work with patterns. That explains why even the most destructive habits become impossible to break. When there is emotional, verbal, and physical abuse from family members, we often grow up with low self-esteem. Most of us also experience image issues. And even after we moved out and spent a little time with our toxic family, we still see their reflection in us. We still view ourselves the same way our family members did. This mentality should stop. Thus, we need to realize that we do not equate to any of our family’s toxicity. We have to be aware of our self-worth so we can fall back from negative thinking.
Know That We Deserve Better
After experiencing traumatic events from our dysfunctional family, our instinct is to ignore and curl up in a ball. Most times, those painful experiences make us retreat from the world. We get emotionally drained and exhausted that we often find ourselves in tears. Sometimes, we get used to the routine that anxiety and depression have given us. But it shouldn’t have to be that way. We need to recognize that we deserve better. We deserve love, care, and support. If our families are not open to providing us the support we need, there is no point asking for it anymore. We need to be brave enough to tell ourselves that these individuals are not going to help us. Thus, there is no point in keeping them inside our comfort zones.
Spend Time With Supportive People
In a time where we deem everything is falling apart, we must reach out to people. They could be out friends, colleagues, and partners. We need to let them know that we need them more than ever. Honestly, it is okay to feel embarrassed about having a dysfunctional family. No one is ever proud of having them in their lives. But the most important thing is not our past, but rather what we contribute to our future. So if we want a little push, we have to spend more time with people that value and appreciate us. That way, we can focus on giving more than we can, instead of complaining about what we don’t have.
Appreciate Ourselves Even More
We need to become more accepting of our flaws and appreciate our talents and potentials. That way, we can show the world that despite growing up with a dysfunctional family, we can become the best of who we are. And despite all the negative things in our lives, we need to show everyone that it will never become the basis of our future. Please don’t assume that everything that happened in the past is our fault. We have to tell ourselves that it is okay to live with pain. We need to acknowledge that we have the potential to change everything in our lives. That regardless of having a dysfunctional family, we are not going to let that influence others to think about us negatively.